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July
10, 2002 |
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Most of us know what we need to do to protect ourselves, our kids,
and our homes. Most of us also know it's easy to get complacent,
to want to leave the window open so the breeze blows in, or to
let our guard down in the relaxed, friendly atmosphere of a summer
evening.
There are several recent news stories that have jolted us, forced
us to face the reality that our homes aren't always safe. Two
are especially frightening. First, there's the unsolved disappearance
of Elizabeth Smart. Second, there's the investigation of alleged
child rapist Marc Evonitz, who killed himself after an interstate
chase; subsequent evidence suggests he may have been a serial
killer responsible for the murders of four teenagers in 1996 and
1997.
The common denominator in these two stories is that the victims
are all young girls. Worse, the girls were all taken from or near
their homes or the homes of friends. While, for reasons you'll
see below, I'm not going into detail about the Smart case, I've
written an article, which is posted separately on my site, analyzing
the Marc Evonitz case. insert link?
Elizabeth Smart
As with Chandra Levy's disappearance and murder, I don't intend
to speculate about the ongoing Elizabeth Smart case. It does no
good for a profiler who isn't involved in the investigation to
grandstand and make half-informed (at best) guesses as to the
who and the why of such a case. It can actually cause much distress
and distraction. That has never been my job, and certainly not
my ambition.
I hope investigators find something soon. My prayers and thoughts
are with the family, their community, and the authorities trying
to find Elizabeth Smart.
What I think is within the scope of my abilities is to discuss
one of the questions we ask ourselves in the wake of such a crime-How
on earth can I keep my family safe, if children can be taken while
their parents sleep under the same roof?
It brings the potential for crime a lot closer to home than people
are comfortable with. We can't just roll up our windows and flip
our power locks on and speed through the "sketchy" areas of town.
We're talking about home, and we're talking about our kids.
So What Can Be Done?
We can't cut ourselves off from our communities in order to protect
ourselves. When bad things happen, we need each other. Which brings
me to the first thing we can do to protect our homes.
Know Our Neighbors
I mean know them. Don't be content with knowing what kind of car
they drive and exchanging a friendly wave every once in a while.
I'm not suggesting criminal background checks, surveillance cameras,
or polygraphs. Just conversation and awareness. Follow your instincts,
and don't be afraid to go to the police if you have good reasons
to suspect someone in your neighborhood may be dangerous. I can't
tell you how often predators, especially child molesters, have
struck close to home, where they were able to approach young girls
or boys without seeming threatening.
Check with your local police department about how to access your
state's list of convicted sex offenders. Many states offer this
information on-line in searchable database formats. Some even
post pictures of the criminals along with their addresses. You
may be able to search by zip code to find out how many sex offenders
are included in your neighborhood-at-large, and exactly who and
where they are.
Of course, most people are good people. When you trust your neighbors,
when you're friends with them and not just adjacent strangers,
you can let them know when you're traveling, when your kids will
be with a babysitter, things like that. You can watch out for
each other, help each other stay vigilant about unusual things
happening nearby.
For instance, you may notice a strange car driving slowly down
your street and think next to nothing of it. But if three of you
have noticed the same car at different times on different days,
you may want to pay closer attention. Could be someone's thinking
of moving to the area. Or it could be much worse.
But you have to talk to each other to stay on top of these things,
and to make sure you know who, to be frank, has constant access
to your kids.
Securing Your Household
A security system is always a good idea. Burglars don't like to
rob houses with security systems. But we're talking about the
kinds of criminals that are way beyond trying to grab your TV
and gold watch. You can secure your household with a highly-rated
alarm system, but if you and your kids don't use it correctly
and consistently, it won't help.
Make sure you always lock your doors and windows, especially at
night, even if there's a beautiful breeze blowing. Be especially
careful about entrances to and windows in little-used areas such
as cellars. If you have a garage door, avoid the impulse to leave
it open to "let it cool." Check on your kids when they go to bed
and again when you do, if it's later. Don't hire strangers to
work in your yard or your house without making sure they're not
convicted criminals. Don't leave a key out under a mat or above
the door frame.
These are all things we know, but that we should take more seriously
than most of us do.
Keeping Your Kids Safe Close to Home
These six rules are among the most important ones our kids should
follow.
1. Don't let anyone in the house. Get Mom or Dad if someone comes
to the door. If you're home alone or with a sitter, don't answer
the door; let the sitter tell the person they'll have to come
back another time. There are no exceptions. A real "friend of
your parents" who drops by will understand and come back another
time. If a stranger is trying to get in, call 911 immediately.
2. If you answer the phone, don't tell anyone Mom and Dad are
away, and don't carry on a conversation with anyone you don't
know. Predators know how to engage kids in conversation, establish
"friendships," and get information from them. Protect your kids
with this across-the-board rule.
3. Don't go anywhere with a stranger. Don't get in his car, don't
get on his bike, don't follow him on foot. If a stranger approaches
you while you're playing outside, run inside or run home and get
your parents, or call the police. Make sure your kids understand
they will never be bothering you or the police by following these
instructions.
4. Talk to your parents. Tell your parents about anything that
happens that's unusual, uncomfortable, or that you don't understand.
Kids have instincts, too, and should follow them.
Teach your children that even if it's a small thing-there's a
new ice cream truck stopping at their school, or there's a big
kid playing on the basketball court in the afternoon-you'd like
to know. Don't make them paranoid, just let them know you want
to know what's going on. A good way to do this with little kids
without scaring them is to ask "What's New?" and see what they
can remark upon, from the new puppy in the yard on the corner
to auditions for the school play.
5. Tell your parents where you're going and with whom, and stay
in touch. With cell phones, we parents should have a much easier
time keeping up with our kids than our parents had keeping track
of us. But times are faster. Kids still must tell you where they'll
be, even if it's just down the street, and you need to verify
the information. It's not being overprotective, it's just being
safe.
6. Practice the "buddy system." This one's truer than ever. Predators
don't like witnesses. They tend to target children who are alone.
Sticking with friends is great protection.
Set a Good Example
For everything I've mentioned, you can set a good example for
your kids, from securing the windows on the house to letting your
spouse or kids know where you're going to be. We can all stand
to be a little safer.
I hope this helps.
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